Farm - The Saint Report
National Lameass Celebration Month
Chase's Calendar of Events, which I adore, lists the following February-is-Whatever-Month "celebrations":
AMD/Low Vision Awareness Month. Do not think I am taking disabilities lightly by scoffing at these month things. There is a difference between calling something a lameass celebration and calling it an insignificant cause.
American Heart Month. See above.
Bake for Family Fun Month. Oh good idea, especially in light of American Heart Month. What every family needs is more baked goods.
February is Fabulous Florida Strawberry Month. This is so lame that not even the Florida Strawberry Growers Association makes anything out of it.
International Boost Self-Esteem Month. See AMD/Low Vision Month.
International Expect Success Month.
Learn Italian Month. Learn Italian Month exists only on old lists of February celebrations. Can't understand why this one failed to catch on.
Library Lovers' Month. A Friends of the Library sort of thing. Actually, it makes sense if you, like me, are more likely to pick up a book than a man for Valentine's Day.
Marfan Syndrome Awareness Month. Never heard of this syndrome. I guess that their awareness month is either pretty darned new or needs a little work.
National African American History Month.
National Bird Feeding Month. The good news is that if you start feeding them now, you will be feeding fewer of the little rascals than if you started last month when it was really really cold.
National Black History Month.
National Cherry Month.
National Children's Dental Health Month.
National Get to Know an Independent Real Estate Broker Month.
National Parent Leadership Month.
National Pet Dental Health Month.
National Semicolon Month. “The true measure of civility is the proper use of the semicolon.” -Henry James. Many people think the true measure of civility has to do with the treatment of the helpless; some think infant mortality rate. Fools.
National Senior Independence Month.
National Time Management Month.
National Weddings Month. What happened to June? Is this a marketing ploy that is attempting to sucker you affianced ones into huge, expensive weddings in the dead of winter instead of waiting for a time when your relatives can actually get out of their driveways and to the airport to attend your fete? Brides: Do you want to put on a ski cap and a fur-lined parka to avoid frostbite running from the church to the car? Think of the pictures.
North Carolina Sweetpotato Month.
Plant the Seeds of Greatness Month.
Relationship Wellness Month.
Return Shopping Carts to the Supermarket Month.
Wise Health Care Consumer Month.
Youth Leadership Month.
Just to keep things interesting, I have put in a ringer. See if you can guess which one is bogus. The answer will be in tomorrow's Saint Report.
celebrating feast days today include Saint Pionius, Saint Brigid or
Saint Bride (patron saint of Ireland after Saint Patrick, poets, blacksmiths,
healers, cattle, dairymaids, midwives, newborn babies and fugitives),
Saint Sigebert III of Austrasia, Saint John "of the Grating," and Saint Henry Morse.
Saint John of the Grating? As in grater? Is he the patron saint of hard cheese? No such luck. The grating has to do with an iron fence that was placed around his tomb to protect him from "indiscreet pilgrims." Indiscreet pilgrims? The more you know, the more you know you don't know.
Don Everly (1937, Brownie, KY), Sherilyn Fenn (1965, Detroit), Garrett
Morris (1937, New Orleans), Lisa Marie Presley (1968, Memphis), Stuart
Whitman (1929, San Francisco).
to February 2
to January 31
to the Farm
Marilyn Jones 2000-2008
Answer to yesterday's puzzle: When I made this test up, I thought Texas didn't have a Poet Laureate--they do.
It just isn't who I said it was.