Farm - The Saint Report
She Jump or...
did an online search for any web pages that included all three of
the following words:
was probably being overly optimistic with its 2,950 pages, I tried
the same search on AltaVista advanced and came up with a whopping 2,041. I am hanging my head in shame--for
some reason I thought there was nothing funny to write about today.
What was I thinking?
must admit that this search string was not original--I heard a story
on the radio about a new law someplace that made it illegal to throw
a goat off a tower. Having missed the whole story, and recognizing
it as the kind of event that was probably well-covered on the internet,
I did the search. At first it appeared that well-covered didn't even
begin to express it.
luck would have it, the search string goat +tower +throw
is far too inclusive. Who would have guessed? Apparently Tom Waits
sings all three of the words on "Frank's Wild Years." There
is a travel story about Australia that includes all the words and
one about Morocco. Morocco made sense--I don't think you could write
anything about Morocco without including "goat" and "tower"
at the very least.
of the sites was a journal written by an angora goat breeder. In the
first few paragraphs, she had lost kids in a storm, newly shorn goats
in another storm, their best young buck to pneumonia, and they were only
halfway through winter. Rather than read the rest of the story, competent
as it made me feel, I decided to make up my own ending: all of the
goats who were left committed suicide by throwing
themselves off a tower.
of the sites were biblical or gaming-related, but here is the story
I sought, more or less:
FILE COMPLAINT AGAINST GOAT-TOSSERS Tuesday January 26 10:55 AM
ET MADRID (Reuters) - Animal rights activists filed a complaint
Monday against the government of a Spanish town, saying it was abusive
to animals during its annual ritual of hurling a goat from a church
tower. The National Association for the Protection and Wellbeing
of Animals filed a formal complaint with the regional government
of Zamora after the weekend ritual in the northern town of Manganeses
de la Polvorosa.
a goat from the church belfry, as part of a festival in Manganeses
de la Polvorosa, Zamora, on the 23 of January was a premeditated
violation of the law that protects animals," the association
said in a statement.
followed a time-honored tradition Saturday and hurled Pepa the goat
from a church tower during a local fiesta. The goat emerged shaken
but unscathed from the 50-foot plunge after being caught in a canvas
sheet by revelers who then paraded her through the village. Animal
rights activists have long opposed the tradition. The association
cited laws that prohibit the use of animals in public shows or parties
that involve torture, suffering, cruelty or maltreatment of the
animals. It urged the government to impose the toughest possible
penalty on the town.
what I caught on the radio, this year's hurling was to have taken
place yesterday, but tradition bowed to economics and
rather than pay the fine that tossing Pepa (or any other goat) would
have cost, the townsfolk had to make do with tossing one of their
many small children.
was a joke. Laugh.
speaking of jokes....
Two guys are
walking through the woods and come across this big deep hole. "Wow...that
looks deep." "Sure does... toss a few pebbles in there and see how
deep it is." They pick up a few pebbles and throw them in and wait...
no noise "Jeeez. That is REALLY deep... here.. throw one of these
great big rocks down there. Those should make a noise." They pick
up a couple football-sized rocks and toss them into the hole and
wait... and wait. Nothing.
They look at
each other in amazement. One gets a determined look on his face
and says, "Hey...over here in the weeds, there's a railroad tie.
Help me carry it over here. When we toss THAT sucker in, it's GOTTA
make some noise." The two drag the heavy tie over to the hole and
heave it in. Not a sound comes from the hole.
of the nearby woods, a goat appears, running like the wind. It rushes
toward the two men, then right past them, running as fast as it's
legs will carry it. Suddenly it leaps in the air and into the hole.
The two men are astonished with what they've just seen... Then,
out of the woods comes a farmer who spots the men and ambles over.
"Hey... you two guys seen my goat out here?" "You bet we did! Craziest
thing I ever seen! It came running like crazy and just jumped into
this hole!" "Nah", says the farmer, "That couldn't have been MY
goat. My goat was chained to a railroad tie."
livestock tossing continues with Plummeting Poultry
o' the day include Babylas, Cadoc, and Francis of Sales (patron saint
of writers, journalists, authors, the Catholic press, and editors).
Oral Roberts isn't dead yet. He turns 90 today (1918, Tulsa).
Maria Tallchief, one of the greatest ballerinas ever, turns 83 (1925,
Fairfax, OK). One of these days I have to write about her--she is
remarkable in every commendable way.
to Plummeting Poultry - January 25
to January 23
to the Farm
© Marilyn Jones 2001-2008