Farm - The Saint Report
The Julia A. Moore Poetry Festival
"Literary is a work very difficult to do."
are stupid people for whom one feels compassion and embarrassment
and there are stupid people at whom even the most politically correct
among us may guiltlessly laugh. Julia A. Moore (1847-1920), The Sweet
Singer of Michigan, tops this latter list.
who celebrate their feast days on May 21 include but are not limited
to Godric, Theophilus of Corte, Andrew Bobola (may be May 16),
Thibaut, Gisela (or Isberge), Hospitius, and Maurelius.
Waller was born on this day in 1904 and Raymond Burr in 1917.
an addiction to Harlequin romances is a step below illiteracy, producing
and publishing poetry as poor as Julia A. Moore's is a step
below completely lacking creative thought. (It is the publishing that
makes it a sin--what you do with pen and ink behind closed doors is
your own darn business.)
Anyway, for 11 years the Flint, Michigan, public library hosted a
A. Moore Poetry Parody Contest. Estimated annual attendance at
this event, which the library called "the karaoke of poetry readings,"
was around 150. Sadly, the library has ended this competition.
The thing that sets Julia A. Moore apart from other turn-of-the-century
expounders of inane, trite, banal drivel, is that Mrs. Moore was recognized
by Mark Twain for her lack of talent. Now, that is special. Twain
said of her, "The one and unfailing great quality which distinguishes
her poetry from Shakespeare's and makes it precious to us is its stern
and simple irrelevancy." He complimented Mrs. Moore further by
modeling his Emmeline Grangerford character in Huckleberry Finn
I suppose at this juncture you are all running for your poetry books
to see for yourselves what all the fuss is about--but wait...you won't
find her unless your book is The Stuffed Owl: An Anthology of Bad
Verse. Mrs. Moore has earned quite a bit of ink in that volume,
but none in your average anthology.
Here is a little quiz. Three stanzas from different poems are presented
here. Two are from actual poems by Mrs. Moore and one is from a winning
entry to a previous Julia Moore Poetry Contest. Guess which were done
by Mrs. Moore. I will give the answers in tomorrow's Saint Report.
The Unfortunate Quine Family
Pray, good people, hear me tell
A story which I know too well.
About a family name of Quine
Which dwelt up north in Engadine.
A Christian clan, and proud yet meek.
Their seven children died last week.
little girls will not forget
The day little Hattie died,
For she was with them when she fell in a fit,
While playing by their side.
eating dinner, this dear little child
Was choked on a piece of beef.
Doctors came, tried their skill awhile,
But none could give relief.
get the picture. Her poetry had a childlike quality, in that children
have an unhealthy appetite for tales of untimely death and natural
disasters. During her lifetime, not an infant in her area could die
without being immortalized in one of Mrs. Moore's odious odes; no
disaster, natural or manmade, escaped unscathed. Fortunately, subject
matter that in more adept hands could have caused mass suicide, in
Mrs. Moore's served only to delight. She was never taken seriously
except by herself.
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