Farm - The Saint Report
think you are going to maybe get a paragraph from something and it turns into War and Peace. So it is with National Fig Week.
Fresh from Fresno Family Farms
Carolyn Hughes of the California Fig Advisory Board was kind enough
to send copies of the press releases that advised the media about
National Fig Week, and while the information was well-presented, interesting,
and newsworthy, I think she missed the boat by downplaying the sex
celebrating feast days today include Illtud, Leonard (patron saint
of childbirth, horses, prisoners of war, other prisoners, coppersmiths,
blacksmiths, locksmiths, porters, coal miners, sometimes greengrocers
and coopers, and is invoked against robbery), Melaine, Mennas,
Winnoc, Barlaam, Demetrian, and Theobald.
| The only birthday I deem important today is Sally Field's.
If you recall the old Batman television series, you might remember
that the star of the show was Adam West. I read an article about
him recently and he was explaining his
disappearance from The Vast Wasteland as having been the result of terminal
typecasting. It seems that he wasn't allowed to live down Batman
and was forever after dramatically doomed to play either camp
superheroes or nothing at all.
What a crock. What a whiner.
Adam West wasn't, as Sally Field was, afflicted by chronic cuteness.
He wasn't, as Whoopi Goldberg was, very unusual visually and stuck
with the name Whoopi. If he had real ambition and/or real talent,
the character of Batman would have been relegated to the same
shelf as The Flying Nun and Gidget.
What sex angle? Well, everyone knows about the fig leaves on statuary
and those cunning little fig leaf aprons that Adam and Eve wore. Let's
see some illustrations here.
And Carolyn barely touched on the Olympics (more sex):
"The first Olympic athletes ate dried figs as part of their training
and were presented with figs as the first Olympic medals."
What she failed to mention was that the first Olympic athletes were
stark naked. Now here was an opportunity for presenting the fig in
a whole new light. Maybe next year.
The California Fig Advisory Board has a fig bar recipe for the asking.
The EMail address is firstname.lastname@example.org.
Speaking of fig bars, or Fig Newtons, Nabisco has a great web site
(www.nabisco.com) with its own search engine. When you plug in "fig
newton" you get a whole bunch of places to go to learn all about
Fig Newtons, except why they are called Fig Newtons. Like Indiana
and Hoosier, Nabisco isn't sure why they call their cookies Fig Newtons.
Well, they know why the fig, just not the Newton. What they are sure
about is that we eat about a billion (really) of them annually and
that they are the third most popular cookie in the country.
So jump right in the car and head for the store. It's fig season!
Fill up with fistfuls of the fat-free, fiber-full, fitness fruit!
to November 7
to November 5 - Evil Figs
to the Farm
© Marilyn Jones 2000-2008