Goatview Farm - The Saint Report www.goatview.com

November 8
Convenience Store: Goats
Part 2

My friend Ginger was just starting to raise pygmy goats at the time I was pursuing my convenience store career. Since I had more experience with difficult goat births than she had, she often called when her does went into labor so I could run over and lend a hand. Or a whole arm up to the elbow. Whatever.

Anyway, I was working at the store alone one afternoon when Ginger telephoned with an emergency. Coaching her through the delivery over the phone was fruitless, I couldn't leave the store, and she couldn't locate an available veterinarian, so the only solution was for her to bring the goat to me at work. Which is what she did. She somehow got the goat, who by that time had a head at each end, into a dog kennel, put the kennel in the back of her truck, and FLEW to town. Twenty minutes hadn't passed when she screeched into the lot.

I grabbed some towels, turned off the gas pumps, and herded the few customers out of the store, saying that this was an emergency and that I would unlock the doors in just a few minutes. There were about ten customers, among whom was a father and his perhaps five-year-old daughter, all watching transfixed with fascination and horror as Ginger opened the kennel and pulled the goat to the edge of the bed of the truck.

The baby whose head was sticking out was blinking and making small noises--obviously not dead yet. Since I wasn't sure what his condition would be when all was over, I was not particularly happy to hear the little girl squeaking, "Look, Daddy, it's moving!" Maybe if worst came to worst, I could convince her that the ordeal of being born was very tiring and the baby had to sleep.

I tried pulling the baby out by his head and when that failed tried to find a front foot to pull out with the head. Finally, I had to push the baby back in completely, go in with my hand and find the front legs, then bring the head and legs back out together, the way they should have been in the first place. It wasn't horribly difficult--I have seen much worse--but there was screaming and there was blood. Luckily, there was also a nice live baby to show for it. And within minutes, a tiny little sister joined her brother.

Ginger put the babies in a box in the front seat, resituated the mother in the kennel, and took off for home as I carefully unlocked the store door, marveling that I had managed to deliver two baby goats,
a very messy job, without getting anything on my clothes. Of course, my hands and forearms looked like I had been playing in a blender. And as I pushed open the door with my hip, the first customer back in took a long unimpressed look at me and said, "I really hate to ask, but do you suppose you could make me a latte?"

So much for the miracle of birth.

Fifteen Minutes and Then Some
November 8, 2003!

"'MICKEY SINARDI'S Showstopper Stars on Parade' is the greatest celebrity event ever. It's a celebration of Hollywood and its stars. The focus of this extravaganza is to salute the entertainment world's best. Featuring over 100 of your favorite stars, live and in person, from stage, screen and television. Our celebrites will be on hand to chat with their fans, sign autographs, take photo and join in on all the fun."

If you want to see a lot of famous/not so famous/used to be famous people all under one roof, head for the Sportsman's Lodge Restaurant in Studio City, California, this morning. Here's who will be there waiting to sell you autographed pictures (maybe SOME of them give them away, but by and large...), among other things:

SHERRY ALBERONI (Disney Mouseketeer) SHARON BAIRD (Disney Mouseketeer) FRANK BANK (Leave It To Beaver) LEE BENTON (Mike Hammer) LINDA BLAIR (Exorcist) LYNN BORDEN (Hazel) BOBBY BURGESS (Disney Mousketeer & Lawrence Welk Show) RED BUTTONS (Oscar Winning Actor & Comedian) EDD BYRNES (77 Sunset Strip) GEORGE CHAKARIS (West Side Story) ROBERT COLBERT (Time Tunnel) TOMMY COLE (Disney Mouseketeer) TIM CONSIDINE (Spin and Marty & My Three Sons) CHRIS COSTELLO (Daughter of Lou Costello) YVONNE CRAIG (Batgirl) CHARLES DIERKOP (Police Woman) EILEEN DIETZ (General Hospital) PHYLLIS DILLER (Classic Comedienne) JACK DONNER (Rocky and Bullwinkle, Stigmata) RON FIELDS (Grandson of W.C. Fields) RORY FLYNN (Daughter of Errol Flynn) HANK GARRETT (Car 54...Where Are You?) MARLA GIBBS (The Jeffersons & 227) ARLENE GOLONKA (Mayberry RFD) BILLY GRAY (Father Knows Best) KATHRYN GRAYSON (Showboat & Kiss Me Kate) ALAINA REED-HALL (227) LINDA HENNING (Petticoat Junction) GLORIA HENRY (Dennis the Menace) CONNIE HINES (Mr. Ed) CHEYRL HOLDRIDGE (Disney Mouseketeer) GUNILLA HUTTON (Petticoat Junction & Hee Haw) JACKEE' (227 & Sister, Sister) BERNIE KOPELL (Love Boat) MARTA KRISTEN (Lost In Space) SUE ANE LANGDON (Frankie & Johnnie, Roustabout, Arnie) RUTA LEE (Funny Face & Sergeants 3) BARRY LIVINGSTON (My Three Sons) STANLEY LIVINGSTON (My Three Sons) SUZANNE LLOYD (Zorro & The Saint) JUNE LOCKHART (Lassie, Lost in Space, Petticoat Junction) DAWN LYN (My Three Sons) BETTY LYNN (Andy Griffith Show) RANDAL MALONE (MTV's "Singled Out") JERRY MAREN ("Munchkin" from Wizard of Oz) BILL MARX (Son of Harpo Marx) JOSEPH MASCOLO (Days of Our Lives & Bold and The Beautiful) LARRY MATHEWS (Dick Van Dyke Show) VIRGINIA MAYO (The Best Years of Our Lives & White Heat) KEVIN McCARTHY (Invasion of the Body Snatchers) BARBARA McNAIR (Singer) SID MELTON (Danny Thomas Show & Green Acres) TERRY MOORE (Mighty Joe Young & Come Back Little Sheba) MARGARET O'BRIEN (Meet Me in St. Louis) KEN OSMOND (Leave It To Beaver) JULIE PARRISH (Nutty Professor & Paradise Hawaiian Style) CYNTHIA PEPPER (My Three Sons, Margie, Kissin' Cousins) PAUL PETERSEN (Donna Reed Show) KASEY ROGERS (Bewitched) ROSE MARIE (Dick Van Dyke Show) JANE RUSSELL (The Outlaw & Gentlemen Prefer Blondes) LORI SAUNDERS (Petticoat Junction) WILLIAM SCHALLERT (Patty Duke Show) RONNIE SCHELL (Gomer Pyle) STELLA STEVENS (Poseiden Adventure & The Nutty Professor) DAVID STOLLERY (Spin & Marty) DEE WALLACE STONE (ET, Cujo, The Howling) DON STROUD (Mike Hammer) BARBARA STUART (Gomer Pyle) ROY STUART (Gomer Pyle) MESHACH TAYLOR (Designing Women) LARRY THOMAS ("Soup Nazi" on Seinfeld) CAMDEN TOY (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) DOREEN TRACEY (Disney Mouseketeer) BERLINDA TOLBERT (The Jeffersons) DICK VAN PATTEN (Eight Is Enough) JAMES VAN PATTEN NELS VAN PATTEN VINCENT VAN PATTEN BEVERLY WASHBURN (Old Yeller & Superman and The Mole People) JOHNNY WHITAKER (Family Affair) HAL WILLIAMS (227 & Private Benjamin) WILLIAM WINDOM (Murder She Wrote & The Farmer's Daughter) ALAN YOUNG (Mr. Ed & The Time Machine) ADRIAN ZMED (TJ Hooker & Dance Fever)

You have no idea how many of these people I thought were dead. And some of them I would just love to meet: Rose Marie, Jane Russell, Margaret O'Brien! My gosh. It's a pretty strange concept, a fanfest, but I'm tempted to go myself.



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Saints o' the Day include, but are not limited to, Cybi, Gerardin, Tysilio, Willehad, Deusdedit, Godfrey of Amiens, Clair, Drouet, and The Four Crowned Martyrs.

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Notable birthdays today include June Havoc (1916)('40's screen actress and vaudeville child performer as Baby June, sister of Gypsy Rose Lee), Patti Page (1927).

Onward to November 9
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ack to the Farm


Marilyn Jones 2000-2005