Goatview Farm - The Saint Report www.goatview.com

October 25
Some Assembly Required

It is probably trite and boring to make funny comments about the instructions and/or promotional material included with items manufactured in China or any other Asian country. Archie McPhee had the last word on that when it took the description of the Bibo clock, found on the Bibo clock box, and printed it on the back of their finest signature t-shirt, which I can't find on their site (so have had to settle for the picture of the clock):

"Bibo is a God Monster with intelligence. He has two big eyes, and he knows very well what people want to do. He cannot speak, but only "Bi-Bo." When there is any danger happened, he will speak. The top of his head will light up and his hip will makes many colorful smoke to help him survive because this smoke is very stinking and it can hinder the sight of his enemies. We love Bibo very much because he always survive by using some funny ways."

Click on the picture if you want to order your own Bibo. Or a flock of rubber chickens. Heck, I'll bet they even have a bridal registry.

Speaking of bridal registries, here's something downright scary--Wal-Mart has one.

Back to translations. Alta Vista has a translation site. A few simple examples

Put the large washer on the shaft, followed by the wheel, the smaller washer, and the cap.

Translated into Italian:

Mettere la grande rondella sull' albero, seguito dalla rotella, la più piccola rondella e la protezione.

And back to English:

To put the great washer on the tree, followed from the small wheel, the smallest washer and the protection.

Maybe putting a wheel on a shaft is too complicated. Let's cook Jell-O:

Put the contents of box in a bowl and add one cup of boiling water. Stir until dissolved. Add one cup of cold water. Refrigerate until set.

In Spanish:

Ponga el contenido del rectángulo en un tazón de fuente y agregue una taza de agua hirvienda. Revuelva hasta disuelto. Agregue una taza de agua fría. Refrigere hasta conjunto.

Back to English:

Put the content of the rectangle in a source bowl and add a water cup hirvienda. Dissolved Revuelva until. Add a cold water cup. Cool until assembly.

Assembly? I never thought of the creation of Jell-O as a process of assembly.

Maybe Jell-O is too complicated. Let's make Tang:

Dissolve a tablespoon of Tang in a glass of cold water. Yum!

In German:

Auflös hab tablespoon of tang in hab glass of cold water. Yum!

Back to English:

Resolve have tablespoon OF seaweed in have glass OF cold more water. Yum!

Seaweed???

I guess I won't use the Alta Vista translation machine if I am negotiating treaties, but it is great for brightening up an otherwise dull evening.

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Saints celebrating feast days today include Saint Crispin and Saint Crispinian (brothers and the patron saints of shoemakers, cobblers, and leather-workers) and the Forty Martyrs of England and Wales.

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Minnie Pearl (1912-1996) and Pablo Picasso (1881-1973) were both born on October 25.

Still celebrating are Helen Reddy (1942, Melbourne), Marion Ross (1936, Albert Lea, MN), and Anne Tyler (1941, Minneapolis), among many others.

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© Marilyn Jones 2000-2008